Emily (eratothemuse) wrote,
Emily
eratothemuse

To live is the rarest thing in the world.

Hello again everyone,

Apologies for dwelling on my departure. I've been told that some people have been asking why I left and I thought it would be easiest to give a response here.

Let me start out by emphasising: No particular event or person provoked this. Both David and I have been a part of the forum for a significant portion of our lives, and I think it has just ran its course. No one knew we had been discussing our departure; it is something we definitively decided on Monday morning between the two of us after months of toing and froing.

Even though David also decided to leave, I won't be speaking for him in this journal entry; these are my reasons for leaving. My decision was twofold. On one hand, I became less interested in the content on the Forum. It is no secret that I am an atheist and a scientist and I live my life based on evidence. I am not interested in uncovering whatever truth lies behind the supernatural, mainly because I've not come across anything that is convincing. Nor do I think Anne Rice is a ghost writer for a three hundred year old vampire with clues hidden in the pages of each novel. My interests and views - in politics, LGBTQ+ rights, feminism, scientific knowledge, philosophy, art, humanism, etc - started to really misalign with the direction of the Forum. And I found myself avoiding many topics simply because I didn't want to argue anymore.

Maybe that sounds pacifist and pathetic - I think I've made a reputation for myself as a bit tenacious and argumentative. And in my everyday life, that is true. My aversion to argument signalled the second problem: As a place, the Forum was no longer as important to me as it once was. I'm nearly 30 years old now, I'm no longer the teenager I was when I first joined. And as I've gotten older, I have realised that I want to pursue authentic, meaningful conversations and friendships with the little free time I do have in my life. I have been disappointed many times with the secrecy surrounding the Forum. It is, of course, the prerogative of both members and moderators to keep their lives hidden and private. However, I cannot continue to pretend this interaction translates into friendship when it is so one-sided. In the end, I feel like I am giving a lot more than what I am getting back; it is tiring. And, I cannot do it anymore.

This, of course, does not apply to all of the members, and I greatly cherish the reciprocal friendships that have developed from this place. I prefer to continue friendships on other forms of social media where this is easier (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) and I am always happy to meet people in person if you are ever in London. Please let me know if I have missed anyone from social media since I would love to continue to stay in touch.

I am truly sorry if these reasons do not satisfy you or if you have a hard time understanding them in one way or another. I am always available for a chat here on LiveJournal with private messaging, as well as through other social media and face-to-face conversation here in London if anyone would like to discuss this further. I am not one to shy away from giving a direct answer and I am always happy to talk.

As always, be well. Keep in touch.

Emily
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