- To live is the rarest thing in the world.
- February 17th, 2016
Hello again everyone,
Apologies for dwelling on my departure. I've been told that some people have been asking why I left and I thought it would be easiest to give a response here.
Let me start out by emphasising: No particular event or person provoked this. Both David and I have been a part of the forum for a significant portion of our lives, and I think it has just ran its course. No one knew we had been discussing our departure; it is something we definitively decided on Monday morning between the two of us after months of toing and froing.
Even though David also decided to leave, I won't be speaking for him in this journal entry; these are my reasons for leaving. My decision was twofold. On one hand, I became less interested in the content on the Forum. It is no secret that I am an atheist and a scientist and I live my life based on evidence. I am not interested in uncovering whatever truth lies behind the supernatural, mainly because I've not come across anything that is convincing. Nor do I think Anne Rice is a ghost writer for a three hundred year old vampire with clues hidden in the pages of each novel. My interests and views - in politics, LGBTQ+ rights, feminism, scientific knowledge, philosophy, art, humanism, etc - started to really misalign with the direction of the Forum. And I found myself avoiding many topics simply because I didn't want to argue anymore.
Maybe that sounds pacifist and pathetic - I think I've made a reputation for myself as a bit tenacious and argumentative. And in my everyday life, that is true. My aversion to argument signalled the second problem: As a place, the Forum was no longer as important to me as it once was. I'm nearly 30 years old now, I'm no longer the teenager I was when I first joined. And as I've gotten older, I have realised that I want to pursue authentic, meaningful conversations and friendships with the little free time I do have in my life. I have been disappointed many times with the secrecy surrounding the Forum. It is, of course, the prerogative of both members and moderators to keep their lives hidden and private. However, I cannot continue to pretend this interaction translates into friendship when it is so one-sided. In the end, I feel like I am giving a lot more than what I am getting back; it is tiring. And, I cannot do it anymore.
This, of course, does not apply to all of the members, and I greatly cherish the reciprocal friendships that have developed from this place. I prefer to continue friendships on other forms of social media where this is easier (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) and I am always happy to meet people in person if you are ever in London. Please let me know if I have missed anyone from social media since I would love to continue to stay in touch.
I am truly sorry if these reasons do not satisfy you or if you have a hard time understanding them in one way or another. I am always available for a chat here on LiveJournal with private messaging, as well as through other social media and face-to-face conversation here in London if anyone would like to discuss this further. I am not one to shy away from giving a direct answer and I am always happy to talk.
As always, be well. Keep in touch.